Champagne Charlie

Thanks for your detailed reply. In order to at least speak the same language as a NON BMW garage ( so I may lucidly advise him as to what the problem is ), need in only say something like " My dashboard display often shows what I believe to be generally false warning messages. Are you able to reset the ECU in order to remove them and also ensure that no further false messages are indicated ?" The false readings are a !Removed! nuisance. In Tuscany earlier this year the display on my three year old Bentley Continental GTC showed a low oil warning light. I had four members of hotel staff scouring the countryside for more oil. Being hard to locate they couldn't find any ( see below ), so I put my faith in the dipstick reading and carried on with our holiday. The concierge actually found some twenty miles away in Sienna. The label on it was correct in every detail, other than it was green and not gold............so he didn't buy it ! Interestingly, Bentley clearly expect one to carry spare oil in the boot, since they provide a very nice Bentley badged zipper bag for the oil and a recess in the boot wall to Velcro it into.

Is this right - BMW " want a small fortune just for plugging their gadget in " ?. Please explain. My concern is rather more about all of the items our car ( a V8 X5 ) displays from time to time. If only half of them are found to be correct warnings, then there'll be a shed load of bills to pay. Not only that, but if some of the warnings are genuine, I'd want to take the car to my local back street garage ( who I know well, and who services my other cars) to rectify them. What would be BMW's response to that be ?

Ever since I moved out of London I've always bought farmhouses. They invariably come with barns etc. My traction engine and it's spares take up two barns worth.

Last week I needed an electrician. I circulated an email to my pals asking for recommendations. One was suggested to me. Upon ringing him up he told me that he could do the job, he'd be happy to do it and if, by any mischance, he couldn't come, he would be able to get his partner to do it. A date and time was agreed for him to come and survey the work. He didn't turn up and his phone has been screening calls ever since. I know that this happens all of the time, but feel that I should politely tell my pal who recommended him that his suggested electrician is a dead loss. My wife thinks that this would be ungrateful. Should I do it ? Yes or no.

I do. It's called a barn.

Off at a very slight tangent, but an old boy I was talking to in the pub on Saturday night told me that even if old cars ( fifty years or older ) are converted from dynamo to alternator, they still won't be able to put any charge into the battery when just ticking over ; they need to run at higher revs to do that. He's a retired Jaguar mechanic so I guess he should know. Does this seem correct ?

The above website is useful to find out the number of surviving cars of any make. For instance, my teenage daughter has a 1960 Ford Anglia. There are only eighteen of those left in the UK. My Alfa Romeo, of which there were only eleven of those imported into the UK, all eleven still survive. I haven't done either my X5 V8 or my Bentley Continental GTC because there'll be trillions of 'em, but I'm now gonna check my 1959 Austin Healey 3000, since there were only bugger all of them made in that version in the first place !

I stupidly left the sidelights on last night so flat battery this morning ! I am sure that you know that the battery for this model is not only under the boot floor but also the spare wheel and it's cradle. This cradle requires several bolts to be undone before it can be removed and give access to the battery. The breakdown guy used a battery pack connected to two terminals in the engine bay to start the car, but he said that these terminals cannot be used to charge the battery, just boost start it. Is this correct ? Or can they be used to put a battery conditioner on them to trickle/ top up the battery ? It's a pain to remove all of the above kit just to charge a battery .

Oh yes, my V8 X5 also has an auto / manual option.

The last five 911's I had have been Tiptronic autos. The last two Astons (DB 7 and 9 ) have been Touchtronic . My Bentley Continental GTC has " flappy paddles " on the steering wheel and my Alfa Romeo 156 GTA Sportwagon is a Selespeed car. Once you have tried any of these gearbox options you will never go back to manual, not even for a Kings Ransom !

I have PIL 2005 PIL 2006. PIL 2007. PIL 2008. and PIL 2009. PIL 2000 is on my Bentley. I think that the Beamer ( the wife's car ) is 3322 HE, or something like that.

I got the paint via Amazon. More accurately, ' er Indoors " got the paint via Amazon, and she ( God bless her ! ) had no idea how much she had bought because the retailer sells it measured in grammes ! Not only that, but by the time one subtracts the weight of the bottle, plus the fact that the retailer inserts a damn great nut ( of the bolt variety ) into the container ( ostensibly to help stir the contents ), one has just about enough paint to give two coats to the head of a very small pin. I might try eBay ( thanks for that suggestion ), but don't rate Halfords too highly since they are to motor accessories what B&Q are to DIY. - fine if you want a pair of aubergine damask cushions, but !Removed! useless if you want a half good crosscut saw.

I've just replaced the Wife's 4.4 X5 with a 4.6. The old bus was still pulling like a train at 145,000 miles ( mostly towing a two horse box ) but was starting to look a bit shabby inside ( pale grey leather and carpet ain't exactly ideal for hunting, shooting and fishing.........and those are the outdoor pastimes I can admit to ! ). Her new X5. is Imola red with black leather, just like my Ferraris of old before I saw sense and went back to Aston. Sod's Law being what it is, driving it into the garage she clipped the wall. Of course, she says that this X5 is wider than her last one , wouldn't you know ! But, £9 for a tiny bottle of touch up paint ( 68 grammes ) no bigger than a bottle of nail varnish is well out of order and I didn't even buy it from a main dealer - just an independent supplier. Anyone know a source of authentic touch up paints likely to be cheaper ?